My New Haircut

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M - Listen To This For the Music And Inspiration.

Oh you know, I was at the asian bubble tea place last night, got myself a make Emma jealous date...
Hey broski, get me 2 of your finest most pretentious beers...
I want a shot at the Emma Title: You know what this is? This is my new fucking haircut from Markham for $26, la. I went cheap this time, instead of $50.
You know what that means? I'll be getting some fucking v-neck pity sex tonight.
My boys, if I had any, they'd be sporting the same fucking haircut I stole from J-Pop too. They're getting some fucking manicures tonight too.
I'm going to beg every piece of pussy that comes through that door.
I'm going to do favours for them until my fucking dick falls off.

Bitches love my new haircut, la, and if they don't... fucking whitewashed.
Fucking whitewashed. Fucking whitewashed. Fucking whitewashed. Whitewashed.

Yeah, my sweater is purple and has a v-neck, cause I'm the fucking mom, and everyone should know it.

I swear to god, if David looks at me the wrong way, I'm going to start a bitch fight and make fun of his income level. You looking at me asshole?

Fucking pedicure time.
Other person: "Hey, would you like me to give you a facial to fix those bags under your eyes?"
No way dude, I'm in the fucking shopping spree zone.

I'm the fucking mom, *grunt*!

Yeah, I take estrogen pills, I eat that shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I'm in control unless Emma is around... Oh noes, MOM, where's my allocated money to pay for my car, insurance, gas, clothes, and haircuts? Where's my fucking money mom? Where's my money?

Yeah I grown when I touch myself, because everyone should see how much I lust for Emma!

Oh yeah, that's from Hong Kong.

2 fucking Cosmpolitans down here chief.

HUGO BOSS!
ADIDAS!
VERA WANG!
VICTORIA'S SECRET!

I'm going to get fucking wasted tonight. I'm going to drink Heinekens and Cosmos all fucking night. Fucking cosmos, I shower in that shit with scented candles. Fucking Cosmos. Cosmos. Cosmos.